Brian Knep : Journal

Pause, Death, Restart

The Harvard medical school frog/worm/yeast work, which I now call merely the ‘Aging’ project, has been on hold while I organized and installed a show at Ronald Feldman Fine Arts. My first show in New York, solo and at a good gallery, it’s the most art-world exposure I’ve had as yet. No matter what may come of it, I’m proud of the work and how it all looks together.

While I was gone the most-developed froglet, the one with no tail, died. (Altough they are at different stages of development, all my frogs are the same age.) Not sure why he died, perhaps the ammonia levels in the tank were too high. I’m sad, of course. And unfortunately he was thrown out before I got back to town. I would have liked to have seen him, photographed him, felt the absence of life. Interestingly, I was more upset and concerned that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to do this than I was feeling sad or guilty. Healthy? Not sure.

So now I’m back in town and, aside from the usual grant and show applications, am trying to keep my slate clean so I can push full force on this Aging work. I must scramble to finish some of it for a show at the Judi Rotenberg Gallery in April. Deadlines are good, but the pressure is taking some of the fun out of the work. I subtitled the show ‘Works in Progress from the Harvard Residency’; the ‘in progress’ part helping me relax a bit, giving me breathing room.

Mentally exhausted from the New York show, scared of failure, and moving slowly, but in pretty good spirits.